
Creating a guest list is notoriously one of the most fraught
parts of the wedding planning process. To make this task a bit easier on
you — and your relaionship — here are seven types of people you can
consider leaving off your list, in no particular order.
1. The “B” Listers: When
you start making your guest list, separate the people you must have at
your wedding (the “A” list) from those you’d enjoy having there but
don’t feel like their presence is crucial (the “B” list). Just because
you were close with someone in college, or were invited to their wedding
five years go, that doesn’t mean you are required to invite them to
your own nuptials, especially if you’ve lost touch. A wedding is not a
reunion — it’s about celebrating your union with your partner.
2. Exes: Unless your ex is your best friend and your
partner has no qualms whatsoever about your close relationship, there is
absolutely no reason to invite former lovers to your wedding. It’s not
so much the fact that they are a part of your past, but how will your
new spouse react if your former flame pulls you onto the dance floor?
(Or if his did the same to him?)
3. Plus-Ones: Etiquette experts have a number of
opinions on who gets a plus one: Some say any single person over the age
of 18 (others go as low as 16), while some say that you’re only
required to give a guest a plus one if he or she is cohabiting with a
partner. When it comes to your unattached guests, however, I say let the
singles mingle, unless you have very few singles invited and you run
the risk of just a few loners. 4. Your Boss: Although it may seem awkward not to
invite your boss, it may be even more awkward to invite him or her,
especially if no one else from work is on your guest list. While
etiquette once dictated that your boss was a must-invite, I say it
depends on your office culture, the size of your team, and how
comfortable you feel around your boss in general. Your wedding is
intimate, no matter how many guests you have, and you want to feel at
ease.
5. Relatives or Friends Famous for Behaving Badly at Parties: Your
wedding day should be a stress-free as possible–you shouldn’t have to
worry about Uncle Mort drinking too much and causing a scene, or your
sorority friend starting drama with your bridesmaids. Anyone with a
track record of causing major problems at parties should be carefully
considered before you send him or her an invite.
6. Distant Relatives: While blood might be thicker than
water, your friends likely know you, and your spouse-to-be, better than
your second cousin removed on your mother’s side. Family doesn’t
automatically make the guest list, especially if you don’t have a
relationship besides sharing a last name. If you are questioning
inviting an estranged relative over a friend…invite the friend.
7. Neighbors: Just because you share a morning greeting
doesn’t mean you should feel guilty not inviting the people who live
next door. While it might have been customary to invite the neighbors to
your nuptials at one time, now it’s far less common — unless of course
you’re legitimately friends with your neighbors and get together
socially. If not, don’t feel bad about leaving them off the list. FOLLOW
WEDDINGS.
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